Hands that heal... a personal story
Hands are for loving and creating things. That’s what my grandmother would say after my sister and I could no longer sit still together without playfully tapping one another. The message of love she instilled in us still resonates today.

Sometimes I wish my grandmother’s voice were louder so that the world too could hear her “hands were made for loving and creating things” message. As we observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month, remember hands have many uses and purposes. They are not at the top of our bodies and therefore they are not meant to be in charge or dominance over anyone. They distinctively hang by our sides. They are also lengthy so that we can reach out and hold up the people in our lives and communities.
Hands can be heard clapping on Sunday mornings concurring with the preacher’s sermon, keeping the beat for the choir or cheering someone on. They can also be heard speaking and be seen giving, helping, organizing, receiving a new life, directing or working. And then there are times when hands and mouths have caused physical and emotional trauma, even to the point of death.

My mind instantly travels back to when I was bullied in elementary school. Although I was not being abused by a loved one, my classmate injected fear and exercised control over me. I was terrified when the school bells rang. I can remember purposely asking extra questions at the end of the lesson just so I could avoid my daily dose of taunts. She was much taller and bigger than I was and I felt I was no match for her. This went on for my entire fifth grade year. I did not resort to verbal or physical attacks to combat this issue but rather I found something she was not so good in and offered to help her earn more smiley stickers. It truly worked and although we did not become best of friends, she respected me for my craft of calligraphic handwriting and the taunts eventually stopped.

Violence is never the answer to any problem. It is never a means for communication and does not reflect one ounce of love whatsoever. Violence shatters. It maims and it takes away. It bleeds and it hurts.
I don’t believe that the “love hurts” saying is true. I believe love is used to build, promote, affirm and develop. Love should never be the excuse to exercise control over anyone and should not be followed by continual “I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again” and “I’ll get help” speeches.

I had to find my way out of being fearful on a daily basis. There is always a way out. We can start with our hands by showing love and moving forward so that we can pursue our purposes in life.

The City of Detroit is full of purpose and history and although we face many challenges, there is still a way for change. That way is for people to come together and use their hands, mouths, minds and hearts to pray, lift up, build, protect and be a voice of reason. We can no longer afford to sit idle and watch our neighbors and children die. Change comes by doing. Doing involves action. We must use our hands to work together and love our neighbors as ourselves. We must utilize our mouths as amplified instruments of positive change. We must also use our hands to create peaceful havens for our children and adults.

Becoming involved in positively changing the lives of others will always receive a “praise of the hands.”

Leslie J. Griffin is community relations coordinator for the Detroit Board of Police Commissioners and Office of the Chief Investigator. The mission of the Detroit Police Commission is to increase citizen confidence in the services of the Detroit Police Department and to foster communication between citizens and police. For information on community meetings and events, call 313-596-2476 or email griffinl194@ci.detroit.mi.us.