“If it is desirable that children be kind, appreciative and pleasant, those qualities should be taught, not hoped for. If we want to see honesty, truthfulness and unselfishness our offspring, then these characteristics should be the conscious objectives of our early instructional process. The point is obvious: heredity does not equip a child with proper attitudes; children will learn what they are taught.” – Dr. James Dobson, “Dare to Discipline”

“I have ridden the shoulders of my father to arrive at my today. I hold his hand as I test the strength of my legs to climb into my tomorrow.” – from an African Rite-of-Passage ceremony

If we wanted to put instructions in a bottle in order to let future generations know what to pour into their boys, what would we say?

If we wanted to help future generations prepare the next generation of men to be leaders in their homes and communities, what would we say that they must do?

In the movie “John Q,” there is a scene where Denzel Washington is preparing to sacrifice his life so that his son can live. In what is supposed to be his last talk with his son, he begins to give him advice about what is important in life and what he must do to become a man. He gives his son nuggets such as he must always love his mother, and once he gives his word he must always honor it.

If you could only teach your son three things about his manhood, what would you teach him? Would it be how to gamble in the casinos, or maybe how to protect himself when threatened? Maybe it would be how to change a flat tire or how to work the women so you don’t get caught.

One of the questions I ask parents at our “Power Paren-T-een” workshops is, “What are you training your son for?” As you might guess, the answers vary by household. For various reasons many parents are in reaction mode most of the time when it comes to training. What I mean is training begins because some situation caused it to. Dating training begins because Mom found condoms in the washing machine. That’s reactionary training. Training your son about girls because he is male and soon will have desires and questions is pro-active training.

Power Paren-T-een Tip of the Week:

While your thinking about your answer, for the next two weeks I will give you my top three. They are: Boys must be taught to “love, leave and to lead.” Stay tuned; I will make a case for the importance of these three trainings. My prayer is that it will be a blessing to all who read.

Carlos Johnson, founder of the I.M.A.G.E. Personal Success Training Institute and the family director at Evangel Ministries, conducts Power Paren-T-een seminars for parents and Helping YOU-th Succeed workshops for youth. He may be contacted at www.imageofsuccess.com or 1-(888) IMAGE-24.