What would you give to get more in bed?
http://www.michronicleonline.com/articlelive/articles/2367/1/What-would-you-give-to-get-more-in-bed/Page1.html
Angela Ardis
By Angela Ardis
Published on 02/13/2008
When relationships begin, the chemistry is hot. You can’t keep your hands off each other. You find places to have sex that are creative, mysterious and sometimes you even tap into your voyeuristic side.
Women wear the sexiest panties and lingerie they have available and, if not, will purchase some just to impress. Men will take their time and explore the woman’s body actually getting to know every curve. Some men even go so far as to pleasure themselves before the actual date so that they can go longer, hence making sure that the women is truly satisfied. As the relationship progresses the once slow touch becomes fast and hurried, the beautiful lingerie is replaced with mismatched ensembles or unflattering cotton “whatever” panties, the sex is predictable, lacks creativity and is downright boring.
What would you give to get more in bed from your partner?
“How do you keep the music playing?” by Patti Austin and James Ingram is one of the best songs in the world. It’s one of so many wonderful love songs that encompass the realness of relationships. The answer to the question is to continue to play “the” music. In every relationship there is song, there is music, there is an orchestra. If and when it begins to fade, it is up to you and your partner to find a new chord that will ignite new melodies and compositions. In playing the same song over and over again, it becomes inevitably uninteresting, monotonous and truly uninspiring for men and women.
I believe many women believe that it’s the man’s job to think of new things. If I hear one more woman say “he doesn’t do things like he used to,” I’m going to scream. Life takes over, you become an integral part of that life, which settles into the compartment of complacency, and you both look over at each other wondering what happened. It is never one person’s problem to solve an issue that involves two people. If you are that person who sits back waiting for your partner to figure out everything, you are very much a part of the big problem. Lazy, selfish and self-absorbed. In bed, it takes two people to make magic happen. It takes two participants who want to be there, who are feeling each other and whose soul purpose is to fully pleasure the other. Women, if you lay there waiting for him to hit every crevice during foreplay and then just do you, you are truly selling your and his experience short. Men, if you lay there waiting for her to pleasure you and then all you want to do is turn her over, you have so desperately missed the point, the ball; you are out of the park.
Foreplay is the quintessential essence of sex. If there is no foreplay of some kind, sex just becomes sex. Boring, predictable and not worthy of the time it takes. The act of foreplay is not something that only happens right before sex. It’s something that happens all day. It can be as innocent as a sexy text, a simple touch, holding hands or periodic kisses throughout the day. It can be a bit more involved as a card put inside a purse, briefcase, duffle bag or book. A letter written, lipstick message on the bathroom mirror, sharing coffee time in the morning. A gift wrapped and displayed. Flowers or balloons to the office (men and women). Purchase lunch (something you know they would enjoy) and have it delivered to your partner’s job or deliver it yourself (if you have time). Make a lunch date. It can also be truly engaging and one could periodically prepare a candlelight dinner (whether it’s cooked food or bought doesn’t matter.
It’s the presentation that will count). Be provocatively dressed when your partner arrives (and I do mean provocative). Prepare an area of your house for a massage (candles, oil, music). Women, when your man arrives home from work, immediately upon entering the house, indulge your him in a “happy ending” (you have to really know your man for that one). Men, when your woman arrives home from work, immediately kiss her like you did when you first met her, gentle but firm, hand behind her back and the other behind her neck. Pin her against the wall firmly with your body and maintain the kiss until your feel her day melt away and she pushes back into you, then take her right there where you stand. The thing with women is that we don’t contemplate sex like men and have to be slowly manipulated into it. The wrong move, after a long day of work will piss a woman off for the rest of the night, even if your intentions were good. And, if you want to immerse yourself in keeping the element of surprise, plan rendezvouses at local hotels and disguise yourself (via wigs and outfits or not) and get a room (nice hotels or seedy ones). Leave a note on the other’s car with a clue to your meeting place or dinner reservation. Take the time and actually make a date – yes, even if you live together.
Just because you impressed your partner enough to be with you doesn’t mean that they will stay or that they won’t ever tire of you. You are able to love someone and be tired of them at the same time. But if keeping the bedroom hot is important, take heed to some of the examples for keeping things alive in that department. Life is stressful enough and it is always nice when the one you love is someone you think about in an excited way. It’s not that partners have to do these things all the time, but the game of love is complicated and the game of love’s longevity is vicious. Take the time to figure out what you can do and what you’re willing to give within your relationship to get what you need in bed.
Angela Ardis is the author of “Inside a Thug’s Heart,” “My Mind’s Poetry” and the upcoming “The Block.” To contact her, visit www.AngelaArdis.com or send emails to info@AngelaArdis.com.
When relationships begin, the chemistry is hot. You can’t keep your hands off each other. You find places to have sex that are creative, mysterious and sometimes you even tap into your voyeuristic side.
When relationships begin, the chemistry is hot
When relationships begin, the chemistry is hot. You can’t keep your hands off each other. You find places to have sex that are creative, mysterious and sometimes you even tap into your voyeuristic side.
Women wear the sexiest panties and lingerie they have available and, if not, will purchase some just to impress. Men will take their time and explore the woman’s body actually getting to know every curve. Some men even go so far as to pleasure themselves before the actual date so that they can go longer, hence making sure that the women is truly satisfied. As the relationship progresses the once slow touch becomes fast and hurried, the beautiful lingerie is replaced with mismatched ensembles or unflattering cotton “whatever” panties, the sex is predictable, lacks creativity and is downright boring.
What would you give to get more in bed from your partner?
“How do you keep the music playing?” by Patti Austin and James Ingram is one of the best songs in the world. It’s one of so many wonderful love songs that encompass the realness of relationships. The answer to the question is to continue to play “the” music. In every relationship there is song, there is music, there is an orchestra. If and when it begins to fade, it is up to you and your partner to find a new chord that will ignite new melodies and compositions. In playing the same song over and over again, it becomes inevitably uninteresting, monotonous and truly uninspiring for men and women.
I believe many women believe that it’s the man’s job to think of new things. If I hear one more woman say “he doesn’t do things like he used to,” I’m going to scream. Life takes over, you become an integral part of that life, which settles into the compartment of complacency, and you both look over at each other wondering what happened. It is never one person’s problem to solve an issue that involves two people. If you are that person who sits back waiting for your partner to figure out everything, you are very much a part of the big problem. Lazy, selfish and self-absorbed. In bed, it takes two people to make magic happen. It takes two participants who want to be there, who are feeling each other and whose soul purpose is to fully pleasure the other. Women, if you lay there waiting for him to hit every crevice during foreplay and then just do you, you are truly selling your and his experience short. Men, if you lay there waiting for her to pleasure you and then all you want to do is turn her over, you have so desperately missed the point, the ball; you are out of the park.
Foreplay is the quintessential essence of sex. If there is no foreplay of some kind, sex just becomes sex. Boring, predictable and not worthy of the time it takes. The act of foreplay is not something that only happens right before sex. It’s something that happens all day. It can be as innocent as a sexy text, a simple touch, holding hands or periodic kisses throughout the day. It can be a bit more involved as a card put inside a purse, briefcase, duffle bag or book. A letter written, lipstick message on the bathroom mirror, sharing coffee time in the morning. A gift wrapped and displayed. Flowers or balloons to the office (men and women). Purchase lunch (something you know they would enjoy) and have it delivered to your partner’s job or deliver it yourself (if you have time). Make a lunch date. It can also be truly engaging and one could periodically prepare a candlelight dinner (whether it’s cooked food or bought doesn’t matter.
It’s the presentation that will count). Be provocatively dressed when your partner arrives (and I do mean provocative). Prepare an area of your house for a massage (candles, oil, music). Women, when your man arrives home from work, immediately upon entering the house, indulge your him in a “happy ending” (you have to really know your man for that one). Men, when your woman arrives home from work, immediately kiss her like you did when you first met her, gentle but firm, hand behind her back and the other behind her neck. Pin her against the wall firmly with your body and maintain the kiss until your feel her day melt away and she pushes back into you, then take her right there where you stand. The thing with women is that we don’t contemplate sex like men and have to be slowly manipulated into it. The wrong move, after a long day of work will piss a woman off for the rest of the night, even if your intentions were good. And, if you want to immerse yourself in keeping the element of surprise, plan rendezvouses at local hotels and disguise yourself (via wigs and outfits or not) and get a room (nice hotels or seedy ones). Leave a note on the other’s car with a clue to your meeting place or dinner reservation. Take the time and actually make a date – yes, even if you live together.
Just because you impressed your partner enough to be with you doesn’t mean that they will stay or that they won’t ever tire of you. You are able to love someone and be tired of them at the same time. But if keeping the bedroom hot is important, take heed to some of the examples for keeping things alive in that department. Life is stressful enough and it is always nice when the one you love is someone you think about in an excited way. It’s not that partners have to do these things all the time, but the game of love is complicated and the game of love’s longevity is vicious. Take the time to figure out what you can do and what you’re willing to give within your relationship to get what you need in bed.
Angela Ardis is the author of “Inside a Thug’s Heart,” “My Mind’s Poetry” and the upcoming “The Block.” To contact her, visit www.AngelaArdis.com or send emails to info@AngelaArdis.com.