A world conquering marriage. The power of great partnerships in marriage. These are just a few concepts this Christian inter-racial Detroit couple promote and emulate. Meet Dan and Patrice Love, a young Detroit couple who believes in the power of marriage and love. The Loves were recently seen on the TLC network's reality show, Virgin Dairies in 2012. February 2013 they will appear on the Newlywed Game hosted by Sherri Sheppard. I had an oppourtunity to pick the Love's brain on how they met, what makes relationship work and being a inter-racial couple in Detroit.
How long have you been together?
We met May of 2010. Dan proposed December 23, 2011. We married May 6, 2012.
When did you meet?
Patrice and I met on the set of a Detroit film called CornerStore. She was working in wardrobe and I was the director of photography. In preproduction, I saw her when we first started doing location scouting for a Detroit liquor store. It was a misty humid day and she JUST had her hair pressed, Patrice was covering her hair with news papers, running from awning to awning trying to keep her hair from getting wet. I couldn’t help but to noticed her. She looked 16 but acted 40 so I couldn’t really get a grasp if she was in my dating territory so I just observed her from a distance.
Eventually production carried on, we did one test shoot day and the following day the producers wanted to take the film crew to their church Impact Ministries to be blessed. After service I asked Patrice to lunch, that was our first date. We begin dating incognito and announced we were a couple after the shooting was final.
What made you know he/she was the one?
(Dan) I knew she was the one when I observed Patrice at a Church service. We’d been dating for almost a year. I was in Church observing her when I knew I had to MAKE her the one. It was instant for me.
During the dating process in 2011, which we call dating with a purpose, I was living in LA so we were apart for a while. I was in LA trying to network to do entertainment work. I could feel the tension on our relationship and knew I had to get back to Detroit to make this happen or I might lose her. I moved back, saved up some money, bought a ring and popped the question.
(Patrice) I’d been praying because I felt in my heart I was ready to get married. Dan reflected everything I prayed for. I remember Valentine Day 2010 being by myself in my room talking to the God saying, “Lord all right, I am ready to be married.” The last line in my prayer was "Lord he does not even have to be Black."
I strongly feel that last statement in my prayer left the door wide open for God to bring me the man He designed for me. After praying, I just sat still and listened to my inner-self for warning signs or anything to let me know Dan was not the one for me. I got nothing saying Dan was not the right one. It just felt right . . . it felt amazingly right. I had peace about him as my future mate, my companion.
What makes a successful marriage?
(Patrice) COMMUNICATION, listening to each other not just trying to get our points across, understanding, love, and respect; letting each person play their roles (i.e. Dan is the head. I follow his lead because he leads in love and kindness.).
(Dan) As the husband, it is a natural feeling for me to feel responsible for her well-being. It is my role to support Patrice emotional and financially.
Never argue to be right, argue to find solutions. Never demean the others thoughts or opinion to win an argument.
Always protect each other and ALWAYS validate each other.
I always remember everything that is mine is Patrice's and vise versa, this means her looking at my email without my permission is about as offensive as her doing my laundry without my permission.
We’re on the same team so ALL of our individual possessions benefit both of us. Being flexible is important and not being afraid to get it wrong makes for a successful marriage because if one of us gets it wrong, well here comes love, which covers a multitude of faults.
We are both committed to keep trying until we get it right. It is important that each person desires to please the other above him/her self. Be able to apologize and then make an effort to do better.
Has being an interracial couple hindered or helped your relationship?
The only hindrance, if you call this a hindrance, is Dan grew-up in Waterford. I grew up in Detroit. I was conditioned to being treated a certain way, getting certain things, I was kind of materialistic. With my husband it is different, the priority is not only on material he extended my viewpoint. It is very refreshing for me.
I guess there are not any hindrances, yet. If and when they occur we will count on our unconditional love for one another to guide us through. There is something we do find funny. Example, when an old school song comes on like Lenny Williams song "Cause I love you." I tell Dan, “Baby that's my jam, lets dance.” He has this look on his face like - what, this song, who sings this song.
Dan has a way of making me feel loved and adored. This could be for any number of reasons other than the fact that Dan is Caucasian. I am so happy. During the dating stage, we both tried to out do each other in making the other feel cherished. It is a great feeling when you know you are loved. We both share that great feeling. We hope to inspire others to broaden their horizons when it comes to dating outside their ethnicity. It doesn’t hurt that we both love butter too.
Watch The Loves on the Newlywed Game, Thursday, February 7, 2013 at 8:00p eastern on the Game Show Network (GSN).